>If the first foot you put forward is look at my lifestyle, you’ll get people who are attracted to that (and maybe not you necessarily)
So true. I can't count the number of "I'm only attracting gold diggers" posts I've seen on Reddit where it became immediately apparent why that was happening as soon as you asked 1. what OP's lifestyle was, and 2. what they looked for in a partner.
You sound like you're going about things the right way. It's ok to be a little nerdy about dating and put thought into how you go about it if it's getting you dates that are higher quality!