California E&S Insurance

1 year follow up: Moved from VHCOL to MCOL (and FIREd) **TL;DR**: Worked at FAANG company, went permanent remote in 2020 thanks to the pandemic, moved from Bay Area to Research Triangle, NC and as of recently I’ve resigned / FIREd (30s, $5M, engineering management). This Reddit group has been very helpful. There are plenty of posts on financial optimization of FIRE but in the spirit of giving back here are a few non-financial tips I’ve learned over the past few years in preparation for FIRE. **MINDFULNESS** Learn the basics of breathing exercises and use this as a way of managing stress and staying focused on what really matters (last thing you want to do is FIRE and then worry about your neighbors lawn as opposed to your life long dream). **Train yourself to not watch the market** Checking the market daily is an addiction and can inspire emotional decisions. Recognize watching the market daily lacks any merit as a long term investor. Uninstall stock market apps and make a point of checking the market once a week max and get back to focusing on your true purpose. **Stuff** Just because you can easily afford it doesn’t make it free. Eg A friend just bought a $80k car and on day two it got a dent. Now she’s worried about the dent and spending a substantial amount of mental energy on it. A used car would never require this mental focus. Be careful to not let stuff cost your time and focus. Time is now your largest commodity. Additionally, stuff is primarily for ego and when you have FIREd it’s rather easy and productive to be humble ( “fake it until you’ve made it.. But now you’ve made it so why are you still playing the part?”). If you are finding it difficult to make great friendships, it may be largely due to not being authentic and humble. Get rid of stuff and focus on experiences, hobbies and you will be far more inspiring for genuine friendships. **YOUR FINANCES SHOULD BE PRIVATE (with the exception of a public Reddit group apparently)** **No one cares** There seems to be an obsession in this group about what you will tell your neighbors. I’m the only Dad who is at the bus stop daily. I go to the gym at 10am with the college kids and retirees. Everyone is way too busy to care. People never ask about that. Just “how was your trip/weekend/hobby/kids?”. **What do you say when they say “what do you do for a living?”** Remote work is a great FIRE cover. I just say you work mostly remote in tech. 99% don’t ask any additional questions. For the 1%: In my spare time I happen to research science for personal goals so I just explain a little about my research and don’t get into business logistics. **Don’t talk about FIRE** If I was going to guess, though I’ve never tried, trying to explain FIRE to neighbors is received as well as selling them the newest MLM scam. Just don’t talk about money. When someone tells you they are doing amazing at job X, just lightly congratulate them and ask what they do for fun. You’ll appear humble and you’ll start a genuine friendship as opposed to a “what can I get from you” quest. **Family** I get that it’s harder to hide details from family. In my case, I’m taking an extended period off to do private research and focus on family. Presuming you’ve got to Chubby/Fatfire tiers they should respect that you can make reasonable decisions. The truth is none of us can predict the future and this is fair. Don’t talk about money/don’t explain it/it’s just your decision (there is never a right amount, you are either too rich and should help person X or too poor), now what side are they making for the holiday’s dinner? **SOCIAL LIFE** **Create new stories** We all know that guy who still talks about his high school days and how amazing he was. Don’t be that guy about your ex-job. No one cares that you were the CTO of some major corp. If you want genuine friendships, talk about what you did this week / future goals / current passions. **Get fit** Your health will likely run out before your money. Invest proportionally. Also sports (including hiking etc) are excellent social outlets. **Stop selling yourself** A big part of business is networking and selling yourself. In FIRE you don’t have to do this. Intentionally talk about hobbies, passions, personal goals and genuine friendships will follow. **Make sure you are retiring to something** As often quoted many people are retiring away from a job. Knowing what you are retiring to is key. This can be passive (enjoying national parks, music, art) and/or active (creating science, contributing to charities and beyond). Don’t pressure yourself to know the full story but have a plan for the first six months and be open to it morphing. **Final Thoughts** Read Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl - ““Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”” Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/fatFIRE/comments/jzodth/moved\_from\_hcol\_to\_lcol\_during\_covid\_thanks\_to/

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